I promise you a nursery post is coming, but until then, laughing at my childhood fears will have to do. Let me start this off by saying that these fears were absolutely real and legitimate to me. I could not be talked out of them with reason or comfort. Instead, I just had to grow up and realize how incredibly neurotic I was (and am)...even as a child.
Ok, my first fear was that I would become pregnant with the next coming of Jesus Christ. I'm not kidding. I was so afraid that I would have to tell my parents that I was pregnant and no one would believe that I had not had sex out of wedlock. With a Catholic family, this idea was enough to make you sweat. I would sit my mom down and explain to her that she had to believe me if I ever told her that I was pregnant with Jesus. Realizing I could not be talked out of this, my mom would just agree to believe me to shut me up.
My second fear was that I would wake up one day and have grown out of all of my clothes. My thoughts went like this: clothes fit certain-sized people. People grow. When you grow, you grow out of your clothes, but not gradually. Instead, you must grow overnight and then have nothing to wear the next day. I had this image of me waking up with nothing to wear. So, I'd have to yell for my mom who would have to call my dad to come watch us while she went shopping. I would always tell her that I wanted her to cover me in a bath towel while she went shopping, but I only wanted her to pick out one outfit. That way I could get out of the house and pick out the rest of my clothes with her. Much to my mom's dismay, I passed this fear on to my kid brother who also would freak out about this. (Check out this commercial. How is this kid ok with this??? Also, I can't figure out how to center it. Boo.)
Well, you either laughed at that or you are worried about me. Either reaction is appropriate. I really hope that illegitimate fears are not genetic...for Ellen's sake.